Perfectionism

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Some things happened last week that I wanted to share with all of you around perfectionism in my life. This is a difficult thing to share because I am always a very positive person and it is difficult for me to share things that haven’t gone well. But, that is part of perfectionism speaking instead of my authentic true self. I feel that I am on a growth journey and have been for the past 3-4 years especially, so I want to share my vulnerable side with all of you as well so that we all may know that there are many curves and bends on our paths.

I feel that I am really in a lesson learning phase right now, and although we all learn lessons daily, sometimes they are hard ones to take.

Recently at the farm where I bake 3 days a week I had a meeting with the main chef and the farm store manager. They wanted to meet with me to see how I was doing since I have been there around 2 months or so and they also wanted to talk about holiday ideas to sell in the store. They told me that there were some items that I had come up with that had sold well. They also told me that there was a customer that was unhappy with a pumpkin pie that they had ordered and it fell at home (sank in the shell). They had refunded them and they are ok with it, but it was devastating news for me. They had positive things to say to me such as they were happy with the amount of items that I produced in the hours that I was there. I remember during my interview that they had said that the previous baker wouldn’t produce a lot in her shift although what she made was of very good quality.

Later that day all I could focus on were the things that had gone wrong. I was really mentally beating up on myself for the mistakes I had made. I was so concerned about being fast and productive I let go of being accurate. I wanted to be perfect! I wanted to have both. I wanted to have everything turn out, but hurry and produce a lot. I was trying to be everything and anything at the same time. I couldn’t let it go. I wanted to be the perfect baker that they were looking for- someone who could produce a lot perfectly. The results of this was that I kept going on this way the next day and proceeded to under-bake some items. I was super upset about that as well. I should have taken my time. I should have slowly worked on the recipe that was new to me and given it time.

The lessons that I have learned from this experience are many that I will share with you.

Perfectionism Can Hinder Your Workflow:

First of all, I learned that I have some perfectionism about my work that I need to be aware of. It can be something that really can hinder my mindset and also the outcomes of my work. I have always put so, so much pressure on myself to do all that I can possibly do. I often observe what others want of me and try to be all of that and more. When I really listen to what they are saying though, they don’t expect perfection, only I do. For example, the other chef said that she had some mishaps when she first started cooking at the farm and also recently the other day she over-baked the bread a bit. She did a great job of letting go of it quickly, then moving on to other tasks. Sometimes items that all of us make don’t sell well in the store for some reason or another and we all learn from it. When I don’t let go of work that doesn’t turn out right, it disrupts my workflow to the point that I am not helpful or effective. I let my mindset of perfectionism get in the way of getting things done to the best of my ability and learning from the experience.

Perfectionism Can Distort Your View of Yourself:

I think that within my baking work I have had the view of myself that I have to do everything right and that it’s ok if others make mistakes but I can’t. I let other’s foibles go and when I do something wrong it’s not ok. I am very hard on myself for anything that goes wrong- something burned, something under-baked, something that is not decorated correctly, or enough. This is another way of saying to myself “You are not enough.” “You have to do your work perfectly.” This is not a healthy view. I have to know that I am enough even if I make mistakes. By making mistakes I am learning. By failing I am growing.


Perfectionism Can Slow Your Personal Growth:

Since I am on a path of personal growth and learning I have learned through this experience that perfectionism can put a damper on your personal growth. I know that I am on the farm working in a kitchen team to learn some powerful lessons. I cannot learn those if I let perfectionism get in the way. If I fuss about every mistake and replay it over and over in my mind and beat myself up about it mentally over and over I am not learning the lessons I am there to learn. I know that sometimes lessons show up more than once. Sometimes the lessons get harder just like a voice can get louder if you are not learning them in life. I know that life is showing me this right now. I am choosing to listen so that the voice doesn’t need to get louder and the lessons don’t have to get tougher to get my attention.

Moving Forward:

I know that from time to time perfectionism will want to show itself, to greet me, to challenge me on my path. For this reason I am coming up some steps to soften that voice in my head and to know that I am enough and that I am doing my job to the best of my ability at this very moment. I think that what I am going to try when one of these moments come up when I make a mistake is to repeat in my head “You are enough” instead of “You did a poor job.””What’s going on with you?” “Why aren’t you doing a better job?” and so many other things that pop into my head at that moment. If I can take a moment to breathe, say “I am enough” to myself and maybe to even write it down somewhere to carry with me that will change the direction and momentum of the day. I am going to try this method this week and report back how it went in another short bonus blog post.

Thank you all for being on this journey with me, through the ups and downs and everything in between.

I would love to know your experiences with perfectionism. Feel free to share your story below in the comments or email me at: info@thecheerychef.com

With lots of love,

Trista

Your Sources of Joy

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Allowing is a really amazing word. When we allow ourselves to feel joy, to find the good in life, to find the good in lessons that we are being taught every day through our actions we can feel true bliss. What are your sources of joy? They can be the simple pleasures in life and they can also be big milestones of achievement. I believe every source of joy is valid and worth spending time reflecting on. Here are a few of my sources of joy.

  1. Family

  2. Friendships

  3. Creativity

  4. Food

  5. Baking

  6. Reading

  7. Spirituality/Universe

  8. Nature

  9. Travel

  10. Tea/Coffee

I will elaborate more on these in a later post, but first I would love to hear your list of 10 sources of joy. What are they? I would love to know! Please comment below or send me an email at: info@thecheerychef.com

Thank you!

With lots of love,

Trista

Actions of Spirit

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Whenever you take action, have the attitude that you are not performing the action. Have the attitude that your actions are really the actions of non-local intelligence, the organizing universal spirit. You will begin to notice a great diminution of anxiety. You will also be less attached to the result.

“The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire”- Deepak Chopra

This quote reminds me of what I said about taking inspired action after meditation or taking note of things that pop into your head that you should do. I believe that these are the actions of spirit and these actions will bring us farther down the path that we truly want to go down in life. What Deepak means by the universal spirit is one of a collective consciousness. We all have an individual mind in our individual physical body, but we also have access to a collective mind that we all share. That is where inspirations truly come from if we get quiet enough to let them in.

Often throughout the day I will have ideas for baking, ideas for writing, ideas for projects or ideas for things I would like to do for others. I take these into account and often act on as many of these as I can. These are the positive messages from the universe nudging me in the right direction if I choose to allow it. I know that all of these actions have resulted in joy and that is why I continue to pay attention to them. I may not see real physical results from them or really know exactly why I have been lead down this path, but I trust that the path will illuminate itself one idea at a time, one inspiration at a time, one project at a time. When the feeling for action comes upon us, that is a very good sign.

If there are days where you don’t feel like doing things, that is ok. It means it is time to rest, read, tune into yourself. You will get inspired ideas very soon. I have gone through periods like this, like after the closure of the coffee shop and after the closure of the meal service Josephine.com. I needed to take a break, feel the feelings of grief and sadness, of letting go and then be able to get my spirit back up to action. The inspiration and the good energy must be there for you.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this or about any inspirations that you have gotten recently. Thank you so much for reading!

With lots of love,

Trista

Infinite

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If there were ever to be a philosophy, religion or science that could truly unify the human race and bring lasting peace, justice and equality to individuals, families, communities and nations, it would have to be based on the one experience that all beings share in equal measure and to which all beings have equal and unlimited access at all times: the knowing of our own infinite being, which shines in each of our minds as the knowledge ‘I am’. The fact that all people to refer to themselves by the same- ‘I’- is a hint in the common parlance of the understanding that we all share the same being.

Rupert Spira in his book “The Nature of Consciousness: Essays on the Unity of Mind and Matter

This quote really struck me as I read this book on consciousness the other day. In life we are taught in many ways about separateness- our town, our neighborhood, our nation, our continent, but really we are all part of an infinite intelligence that is growing constantly. It is amazing how much the universe is expanding. When I see the photo above of the milky way I marvel of the vastness of space. If we apply this infinite and vast sense to ourselves we realize that we are all part of something very grand.

We all call ourselves “I” in different languages but it means the same thing. So, we are all connected in some way. If we could concentrate on this, remember this, live this, we could all find more peace in our days. There really is no “other” in life. Little ripples of our actions, thoughts and intentions really do matter.

They matter in a very positive way I believe. The more we concentrate on the present moment, on our unity as one being in the universe and on creating a future as individuals and as a collective, the more we will see wonderful things happening. What you put out into the world and the universe matters more than any of us will ever be able to comprehend and that is a beautiful thing.

I would love to know your thoughts on the quote above! Please comment below or send me your thoughts in an email at info@thecheerychef.com

With lots of love,

Trista