Just a little while ago, a bit more than a week ago I finally began to feel that the fog had lifted from the dark cloud of letting the coffee shop go and moving on to create a new path. I think many times it is ok to let ourselves be sad, to feel the feelings, to feel like not moving on quite yet. I had to be in this state for a while because it helped me to become stronger and to move on.
I feel like I am a wildflower seed that has been germinating in the ground all winter and now it is spring. I have taken time to rest, to read books, to journal, to drink lots and lots of tea, to dream, to think and to invite in all of the possibilities. Luckily, my "winter" has only been about 1 month. I really think I had some mild depression, a mild sadness and gloom filtered all that I saw for a while having to do with my life's work, my business and who I am.
We invest so much and we put so much value on what we do in our day to day lives, how we use our talents, how we advance in our careers and chosen jobs and paths. It was good for me to take a forced "break" of sorts to really sort out what brings me pure joy. This is something I feel really blessed to have been able to do. At first, the closing of the shop seemed like a disaster. It felt like I was failing if I couldn't save it. I felt that I had not done all that I could have done. Now, when I look back at it, I see that it was a huge gift. The closing gave me a chance to really be quite, still and look within myself for my next path.
At first, it felt as if I were moving backwards on the board game of life. Here I was, back at home, not cooking and baking for people every day. Not doing my life's work, my calling, not tapping into daily creativity. However, just like a forest fire allows new seeds to sprout and new life to emerge, this chapter had to die, to come to an end, in order to spring back into life again. Taking the time to stop, to ponder, to find my joy again brought me back to my true home.
I have discovered my joy is in the creation of beautiful works of art through food. I realize that all along there was a reason that I went to school and took lots of art classes to pursue my degree in Graphic Design. With all of the art courses that I took, the one that most captured my joy was a sculpture class. I really loved how the teacher taught us to to look differently at materials, to capture a feeling, a moment in our sculptures. That is one of the classes I was best at and it surprised me so much.
On this journey I have daydreamed about creating the milky way galaxy in meringue- both from space and from Earth. I dream of the magical colors I will paint it and the spirit it will capture. I know that everything starts with a dream and a vision and I am so very lucky to have found mine again. You will be seeing lots of delicious art from me in the coming days and weeks. I hope to make your day sweet, your celebration magical!